everyone has left. it’s just us. somehow we’ve started this conversation and ended up here. it’s real and your nervous laugh is real, but you just keep letting the words pour from your mouth anyways. I don’t want to stop you because you need this. but I know they can hear us, and you’re embarrassed and I don’t want you to be. I’m unsure of what to say when you pause. I feel like there’s so much more, but I can feel your shame and notice that you want to change the subject. we do, but somehow we end up back there again, like all the shame is has been held in so long that it comes all at once, rushing out like the juice from a blister. it’s gross and painful. then silence. I let my eyes tell you that I understand. we’re so far across the room, and yet I don’t think we could be closer in this moment.
The Cities That You’ve Burned ⁞ Adam Haworth Stephens
(0 plays)
GPOY… GPOY… GPOYW? I know it’s Wednesday, it feels like Wednesday, yet I keep questioning my judgment.
Odessa ⁞ Olenka and the Autumn Leaves
Alright, alright, ALRIGHT! My ears love this.
MATT IF YOU’RE READING THIS
I just wanted to tell you that I love you.
(I don’t know who Matt is, but just in case someone named Matt is reading my blog I hope this creeped the toots out of him)
(On a second post-script note: I used to like a guy named Matt and just realized which name I chose. It was the first name that came to my mind. Just clarifying that up for Jill, in case she thought that this was secretly supposed to mean something.)
This is going on my list of things to do this summer.
YOU KNOW WHEN
You have those track pants or jackets that have mesh in the inside and one day you figure out that there are a whole bunch of coins stuck between the two layers, but when you look at the pockets there aren’t any holes bigger than the really tiny ones in the mesh, and you’re completely stumped to how it got there? Sometimes my life feels like that. Like I’ve ended up somewhere, and I have no idea how I got there or how to leave with everything all in one piece.
I always forget how much I like these until we get some for Christmas. I tried the new coconut one, and although I REALLY love coconut I thought that it was terrible. It was way too sweet and kind of reminded me of pudding in the middle (and I’m not a even a slight fan of pudding). I haven’t tried the dark chocolate one, but I’m a little hesitant to try.
sometimes
I act like I’m in a movie where I pretend someone is secretly filming my life and I’m not supposed to know. I do things that if someone was really watching would be interesting, but if they were just looking wouldn’t notice anything strange.
